I have never had any real medical procedures. The last one I had was in high school when I got my wisdom teeth pulled out. And that's not anything severe, although they do put you under and rip four teeth out of your head. It could be a little intense. I remember waking up confused, in a small cubbyhole bed in the dentist's office, with a guy telling me that he knew my brother. He proceeded to have a conversation with me, but I couldn't talk. I was so drugged up, I could barely make out what he looked like. I don't even remember getting home.
This last memory of my big medical procedure came to me as I was leaving the doctor today. I didn't freak out then and think that I was never going to wake up, so why was I so worried the other day?
A few days ago I called my extremely well trusted dermatologist, to have him look at a bump on my left shoulder. I don't want to get into any details, because I for one hate creating an image of a medical abnormality. I can barely watch Gray's Anatomy, and I definitely can't watch the surgery channel. As I lied in bed the other night my mind began to wander, and the mild hypochondriac in me went crazy. My first thought was it could be cancerous, or pre-cancer, since according to my symptoms, my doctor deduced that it was most likely infected. An infected growth on my shoulder. What if the cancer spread down my arm? By now I was sure it was cancer. I started to think of all the people that I know that have gotten cancer. Girls my age; I was sad. Sad for them, and how they endured so much pain. The pain in their bodies, and the emotional pain they and their families experienced. I was almost in tears as my mind continued to fire a chain of completely unrealistic thoughts. It's going to spread down my arm, and the next thing I know, its not going to be just an infected lump, but my whole arm will get infected. And you know what happens at that point. They cut it off. So now I have no arm. How am I going to do anything with only one arm?
That's when I started to laugh. I went from crying to laughing in less than a minute. Cut off my arm. What year is this? They don't bring out the hacksaw and just start cutting off limbs these days. I actually imagined myself with just a stump for an arm. I put my head on the Soul Surfer's body. The fact that the mind can go from a normal thought to something totally ridiculous, made me laugh. No arm! Just don't even think about it and go to sleep.
Today was the big procedure. I won't go into any bloody details, but everything turned out fine. My doctor said I was one of the calmest patients. I walked away with a tender gauze patched shoulder. And my arm still attached.
Note: Not everything is worth worrying about. Don't let your thoughts overtake reality.